Nevermind
by Himitsu Miko
Summary: sister fic to "Boys" by Casey V she's awesome . Basically it's Roxas's POV on part of chapter 24.


**Title: **Nevermind

**Summary: **sister fic to "Boys" by Casey V (she's awesome). Basically it's Roxas's POV on part of chapter 24

**Word count: **1,104

**A/N:** ok, my first sisterfic . tell me how it goes.

Ok, so. A while ago one of my friends (my aniki actually) sent me the fic; "Boys" by Casey V and it was awesome. Earlier this school year I started thinking about it but couldn't remember the name or author. All I could remember was a small segment from the summary (and it was the one posted in the fic not on the summary line) and it didn't help much, so I had to go digging for it. But it was worth it, cause I read it again, and it was a small slice of heaven all over again. You can actually learn shit from that fic. And I mean life lesson shit.

Anyways, so then I sent it to a friend, Vira, and she loved it too and we still spazz about it sometimes. And, as I reread chapter 24 I realized that there was one part of the story that was told, but wasn't. Roxas's side was kinda almost maybe edited out _a lot_, if only because he's completely content with just summarizing the whole thing and it being donw. But now I'm forcing it out of him mwahahaha. So I figured I'd write a Roxas-centric RikuRoku off of that part. And I present you with what came of it.

Hope it's worth your time XD

**Note: **Title based off of the Nirvana album for obvious reasons if you read the fic. Was going to be "About a Girl" but I figured Riku wasn't a girl so…..

**Never Mind**

For Roxas, the world ended on a Wednesday. Well, the first time it did, a few years later it'd end again on a Tuesday on something almost related but that's not what we're talking about. No, for Roxas, the world ended on a Wednesday. He never even considered it could all go down in flames the way it did either.

It was safe for the first six blocks, then he sped up. Roxas figured this could be for a number of reasons and so it wasn't a big deal, he had a skateboard after all. Riku was Riku, who knew how his mind worked and what went on within it? It could be a totally unrelated reason that the blonde didn't care about.

After two more blocks was when everything was shot straight to hell without a backwards glance.

"Stop following me." Riku was mad. It was in his voice and, now that Roxas was looking, in his posture too. He was completely tense, an obvious sign of aggravation.

It took a few seconds for Roxas to think of a logical reply, and he thought it was pretty smart too. "I'm not following you. I just happen to be going the same way." Roxas saw the silverette tense even further and knew he just fucked up. But, before Riku managed to turn around one thought- just one -managed to fleet through his head; _this is _real.

"Bullshit you are," Riku replied right after this epiphany, but, to Roxas, there was still a chance that this could work out, that it could be done right, even if it was falling to shreds right now, that maybe, maybe it just _seemed_ to be falling all around him. There was a little voice at the back of his head telling him that thought was stupid but he promptly ignored it.

"Whatever, man, think what you want." Riku continued on and Roxas thought that was the end of that. Maybe he'd still get his chance to say it and maybe they could be happy. But as the walk continued and Roxas stayed behind the silverette, he saw him get tenser and tenser. Why couldn't this be like one of those cheesy ass romance novels he always read?

"Seriously back the fuck off." Riku was defensive, like _he_ was the one being wronged. But Roxas wasn't doing _anything_ to him; he was merely trying to build up courage, why couldn't Riku see that? If anyone was being wronged it was _him_. He was just trying to say something. "Fuck, I'm just _skating_ here, you got a problem?" Nothing was going the way it should. Those books, those books he read _all the time_, were full of _lies_.

But his hope picked up again, ever so slightly, when Riku let him draw level with him. Maybe this was going to be better than he thought. Maybe it could still be saved. Maybe he could still say he loved him. Maybe—

And the next thing Roxas knew, he was face down on the cement.

He slowly picked himself up and could feel the blood on his check. He was already tensed and ready for a fight, reflexively, when he growls, "What the _fuck_ is your problem?" It wasn't supposed to go like this. It really, really wasn't. But then why was it?

"_You_ are my fucking problem." And Roxas thought it was only in the books that heartbreak was a physical pain, that it couldn't really literally eat you from the inside out, thought that maybe that was a lie too. He was wrong. And that was the one thing he never expected to have to find out.

Seeing the venom in Riku's eyes _hurt_. He didn't know what he did to make Riku hate him like he did. All he did was love him. All he did was want to be with him.

And the complete and utter unadulterated _hatred_ in Riku's next words broke him. "Fuck off. Stay away from me." He didn't know if he'd be able to pick himself back up after this whole thing was over. He felt like he didn't know anything anymore.

Roxas froze for a second before quickly grabbing his board and left, pretending he still had all of his pride and it went unscathed. That this hadn't hurt, despite prior thoughts.

Because it hadn't.

If anyone told him Riku felt triumphant and only a small sliver of despair remained inside of him, Roxas wouldn't care. If anyone told him that the rest of the day was normal for Riku, Roxas wouldn't have cared. If anyone told him, Riku went home, was teased by his brother, had dinner, and slept, Roxas would've felt lonely, but would hide it. But, if anyone had told him that this incident would be in his mind for years to come, only he wouldn't wonder about it anymore, Roxas would feel better, if only slightly, at least he left an imprint, a fragment of himself inside his head.

But no one told him.

So, instead, he went to the skate park- first off. He skated and skated and skated until he decided it wasn't helping. After that he went to the arcade and played the games, beating them up, getting easily frustrated, but that didn't help either, not that much. So then, and only then, out of places to turn to to vent his frustrations he went home. He blew off the maid and never even _smelled_ the cooking food. He went straight to his room.

He turned the music all the way up, not caring that his dad would likely tell him to turn it down. The door was locked, he had made sure of it, so no one could come in and interrupt him. With the music as loud as it could go he was free to scream and beat the walls as much as he wanted and no one would know. He never even noticed the tears sliding down his face or the way the sobs made his voice- his screams- crack, he couldn't even hear himself. Couldn't feel the tears.

He didn't even notice the time when he climbed over the trellis and scaled down his house, skating over to his best friend's place to crash on the couch in the basement. Axel would understand, even if he didn't want to talk. That was why the redhead's basement was so appealing. He didn't know, or really care, that his dad had snuck into his room after he left and turned the music off. All that mattered at that moment was getting away from everything.

**A/N:** I hope it was worth it? Just maybe? Review!


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